It is hard for me to admit this, but I used to smoke. Now, I wasn’t a huge smoker…like a 2 pack a day person…but I did smoke consistently. I was the “at the bar, after a meal and with coffee” kinda smoker. 5-6 of those stupid things a day. I enjoyed them even though I knew they were bad for me. I looked at them as a stress reliever.
I started when I was young…I used to swipe my dad’s smokes when I was a kid…and that evolved into smoking for pleasure (as I used to call it) as an adult.
Now, if you know anything about me from either knowing me personally or from my prior posts, my life back in my 20’s and early 30’s was completely different than it is now when it comes to my health and fitness. I used to eat like crap and not really take good care of myself. I guess smoking just added to my lack of truly caring for my body. I just didn’t put any credence into how important it was to take good care of the one body that this should was gonna get! Looking back, I want to go and smack myself along the side of the head. I wish someone would invent a time machine so I could totally do that. I looked like shit, worked myself to death and put my health on the back burner.
When I thought of this post, I tried to look for an old picture of myself from when I was in my early 30’s to show you how freakin’ different I looked. I can hardly recognize myself when I do see one of those old pics. I must have deleted all of those pics because I could not find even one! LOL You can take my word though…I looked older, “thicker” and I had a much harder expression on my face back then, if that makes sense.
Now…back to my story…
I wanted to turn my health around, so I decided to start praying every day that God would take my “want” of smoking away…that He would make them taste like shit so I would not want them. I did this for months…yet every time I took a drag, I loved them. This was right around the time that I had found out that I had nodes all throughout my throat (which one week later found out was cancer). I remember praying to God that if this was truly cancer, that I would turn my life around and take good care of myself.
I was sitting on my back patio at my house in Timberwood Park with my mom. She had come over to visit me before work in the morning so we could talk about my upcoming surgery and these pesky tumors I had. I had a cup of coffee in my hand and I was very nervous about everything I was about to go through. I had prayed my prayer just like many months before…opened a new pack of Marlborough Lights…lit my cigarette…
And it tasted like complete shit. I mean it was so horrible that I took one drag and coughed it out. I put the cigarette out and knew right then and there that this would be my last one. Ever.
And it was!! I never craved one or wanted one from that day on. God answered my prayers.
A few days later, I had my surgery and then did what I had promised…I turned my life and health around.
It was not quick…it took me 3 years for the total transition. I did it slowly and deliberately…but I freakin’ did it.
Whenever I tell someone that story, they look at me like I am crazy (maybe I am!)….”You prayed your cigarette addiction away?” YES!! I sure did.
The power of prayer. There is a reason that this is a saying…cause it truly is powerful. There is also a lesson here about God’s timing vs. MY timing. It was perfect…
He answered my prayers when it was time to do so…and not earlier…or later. When it was the right time.
So, if you are praying for something, keep doing it…
If it is His will for you, then it will happen….just not on your time…and you have to be good with that. Trust.
That’s all I got for today!
J
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| It is TIME to make a change! |