Why?

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations we don’t particularly like. We wonder why a door won’t open for us so that we can move onto something else. We question, why we can’t seem to close the door on something we DON’T want to go through. We get anxious because we have no control over what happens and what it all means.

Why is this all happening, God? We debate in our minds.

That is our worldly view. We can only see what is in front of us. The view from our level.

It is a difficult realization to come to sometimes. When you look at things solely from our limited view, stuff is just going to make NO sense (to you).

That is where trust comes in. That’s hard. I know.

I am going through something right now, where I have asked God these same questions. What is the purpose, God? Why can’t I be my old self again? What if I can never hike again or exercise the way that I once did? Why would you take that away from me, God? 

It is super easy to get angry, edgy and stressed out. Sad even.

But I have to stop myself…as do you if you have something like this going on in your life.

God reminds me lately in every single text I read…any religious book, any piece of philosophical literature…that the key to living the life He wants me to live (wants YOU to live) is to live in complete dependence on Him. And with that comes with absolute trust and living in the PRESENT moment. He literally has been telling me this every day.

Basically, stop worrying about stuff, Jen. Every thing is going to be OK. I promise. There is a reason, you just can’t see it because you are looking at it too closely. You should see what I am seeing!! It is spectacular.

My mind wanders back to the time of Adam and Eve (before the apple catastrophe) and how they initially lived the way that God intended for them to live. Present moment. Complete dependence. Perfect trust. 

They didn’t worry about a damn thing. No ego was involved whatsoever. They were fulfilled and had no reservations about the past, present or future. Their lives were very present and perfect with no shame or distractions. THAT is how were intended to live. They had God right there with them. Can you even imagine what that must have been like??

Until they screwed it up and ate that apple. Stopped trusting. Introduced shame. Initiated the ego. Ushered in worry. Presented sin. Got acquainted with pain. Nothing has been the same ever since.

Until you recognize it. When you realize that in order to live the life that God has intended for you – for all of us- you have to be “old school.” Not like 1990’s old school, I am talking reallllyyyyyyy old school. “In the beginning” old school.

Complete dependence and complete trust. Realization that what WE see is not what God sees and His ways are infinitely better than ours – even when we don’t see it. You should see what I’m seeing!! God whispers to us in our daydreams and prayers.

Awareness that we are not meant to just “get through” life, we are meant to enjoy it. So, stop worrying about stuff that: 1) we have no control over and 2) may or may not happen. How much time and energy do we waste trying to fit our life into a box that it is not meant to fit into?

The one filled with love, tender moments, gratitude in my heart, laughter, freedom from doubt, and laughter?

Or the one filled with worry, questions, anxiety and sadness?

Amidst the “crappiest” of days, when we look up, we can see God’s miracles everywhere. It has been through my suffering that I have realized just how much I actually NEED Jesus to get me through it.

Sure, I can sit here and keep asking, “Why?” but what good would that do? Exactly.

I want to be totally open to the possibilities of the day…to be vulnerable to the lessons that it is trying to teach. I want to have a smile on my face instead of s scowl. I want to trust instead of question. I want to accept “what is” and use it as a lesson to learn and grow.

I want to be a light and to leave a mark in this world instead of a dark spot. I want to trust you every day, God.

I know You got this and there’s a reason for it. Your grace is sufficient.

Thank you, God.

Praise You in This Storm – Casting Crowns – Click To Play!