The room was dark, pitch dark as her eyes opened. So dark, in fact, that she had to blink her eyes a few times to make sure that she was actually awake and truly opening and shutting her eyes. There was no noise, just stillness. It was calming and comforting to her even though she had absolutely no idea where she was.
A beam of light filled the room. A movie started playing from a projector from across the room. The movie was silent and all she could hear was the flickering of the reel as it fed itself through the machine. “Okayyyyy…” she whispered as she looked round to see what the heck was going on. She still didn’t get it.
Her eyes widened when she saw herself on the screen. It was a very different version of her though. “What is this place?” She began to get nervous. “Where am I?” She didn’t know if she was talking to herself or to someone else in the room. It didn’t matter at this point anyway.
She decided to just watch herself on the screen and it actually made her smile. Holy crap she looked good…really good. Happy.
Within minutes, Jen’s eyes were glued to the screen as the images of her doing the most amazing things danced on the movie playing before her. She saw herself talking and so many people listening and smiling. She saw snapshots of the people that were around her and she could tell by their eyes that they loved and cared for her. She saw her own smile and it was so genuine and full of peace.
Holy shit, I wish my life was really like that…she thought to herself.
She got to see her plethora of accomplishments and people that she helped. There were so many! Things that she had only yearned of doing actually happened in this movie. How did anyone know these desires? I never did them.
Her family and friends were in it too. Everyone was always looking so delighted and radiant. It was beautiful.
Without even realizing it, she had her hands clasped together and she held them together tightly up by her mouth…eagerly anticipating what she was going to see next. She was getting excited! This is so cool! This movie produced such delight within her. She was elated and she couldn’t wait to see what was next.
Now she was old and surrounded by her grandchildren at the lake house. Her husband, Michael, was next to her as they sat on the rocking chairs looking at the beautiful water. They slowly rocked and held hands and would smile and look at each other every few minutes and mouth, “I love you” to one another. Damn, he looked so handsome still. The years had been kind to them both. We are still so much in love.
I wish we would have bought that land we dreamed of. I remember when Michael and I used to talk about sitting on our rocking chairs by the water. We got too busy though with work and never did it.
The movie ended and tears were running down Jennifer’s face. What a beautiful life I had in this movie. She was happy to have seen it but it also made her very disheartened because her real life is nothing like that. It was very different. She felt so disappointed. Sad…even envious a little of the “other Jen” that got to be in the film.
A deep voice came from within the room and gently said, “This could have been your life, you know. It was the life that I had planned for you, but you didn’t listen. You, my dear child, didn’t use the gifts that you were born with…you did your own thing instead of what I made you to do and who I created you to be.”
She found herself weeping. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know. Give me another chance. I want to live that life. The one I was supposed to,” she pleaded.
God had given her a glimpse of what her life could have been and is was so very disparate from the life that she had led. Sure her current life’s movie was ok…but this one…THIS one was so much better because it was the authentic version of herself. Who she was meant to be.
Jen was filled with regret. She knew she screwed up royally. Let me go back and do things differently. Let me go back.
When you think about the life you have led so far – I mean REALLY think…the quiet-your-mind-soul-searching kind of think – have you lived the life that God meant for you to have? The life you were created to have?
Did you use your gifts?
Did you serve others?
Did you love enough?
Try hard enough?
Listen to God enough?
Help others enough?
Learn enough?
Do enough?
Spend time in prayer and stillness?
Treasure moments?
Savor relationships?
Were you grateful?
Give praise enough?
Kind enough?
Trust God enough to realize He’s got you?
Take chances enough?
Have the relationships with God and with loved ones that you ought to?
Did you live to your full potential? Or were you a robot that just shuffled through life with your head down and went through the motions every day?
The good news is if you are reading this, it is not too late. You have some time to make some changes.
You know…those changes you want to make that have been fluttering through every fiber of your being for quite some time now, but you have ignored them. Those ones that you have been too busy to pay attention to. The ones that scare you. Yeah, those.
You now have time to get your priorities straight.
“Maybe – just maybe – there is a reason for this difficult time I am going through,” you think. Oh yes, definitely. May you have awareness of the precious gift I am giving you. God whispers to your soul. Another chance.
All you have to do is reach out your hand and grab His. He’s been waiting. Let Him show you the life that He had planned for you. Pause long enough to listen and actually hear it. Feel it. He will show you the way.
Today is a better day. It is a new beginning. Imagine yourself in the future. Close your eyes and think about some alterations you need to make with this precious life you have been given. Pray about them. Surrender to His will. You have lived your way for far too long. Listen. Be still. Find peace. Thy will be done, not my will. I know you are tired and weary but in Him you will find rest.
Today, may you see God’s many miracles that you didn’t notice just yesterday. I hope you smile when you realize that they have been there the whole time. “I get it now,” you say out loud. Appreciate your stillness and respite for a while. Your spirit needed it. There is a significance for this time for you so do not waste the chance that you have been given.
You do have the ability to have the life that you would look back on from your deathbed from and smile. Job well done, my dear one. Job well done.
Thank you so much for reading today. I hope that I made you smile and think a little bit. Be sure to check out my Podcast on iTunes, Soundcloud and Stitcher —- Jen’s 10 G’s